One of the most overlooked mental wellbeing strategies in the world is not quite goal setting, but having something to look forward to.
Some days are harder than others, and my last Friday was no exception to this rule. The alarm rang at 6am sharp and I proceeded to silence its ring every 8 minutes for the next hour and a half. It's now 7:30am and the ring had reverberated through my dreams enough to annoy me into rising and beginning my day.
I found myself procrastinating at every turn, it took another hour to read a couple of chapters in my current book and have some breakfast. It was getting harder and harder to get going, in fact - I got back into the cosy bed for another 20 minutes making me late!
When finally leaving the house, I was pondering what could be making the morning so excruciatingly difficult. After making it to the office it finally dawned on me "I've got nothing to bloody look forward to!"
Similar to goals yet not the same
According to this LinkedIn post, an estimated 84% of people don't set any goals at all. 13% write their goals down without a way to achieve them, and 3% write down their goals with a real execution plan. I can't find the stats on how many people set their intentions for the day, but I'm guessing the stats must be around the same.
Today we are talking about having something to look forward to, which runs parallel to goal setting, a step in the right direction, but not the same.
So what's the difference?
In my opinion, things to look forward to are activities that make our existence more exciting and more bearable. It could be: planning for a coffee with a friend, preparing a nice meal at home with your partner, or organizing to see a movie with friends on the weekend. It could be taking a day for self-care, booking a holiday, a gig, and so on. Having something to look forward to would look something like this:
"Today I'm going out for coffee with Sarah"
And having a goal would look something like this:
"This year, I will have coffee with a friend once a week"
"Don’t count the days, make the days count." — Muhammad Ali
My something to look forward to
Upon arriving at the office, the day was still intimidating to me, too much to do - hustle, push, grind. Luckily I had remembered this simple trick of having something to look forward to and re-structured my day.
I set the intention to go out to my favourite spot for lunch, where I'd talk to the friendly team. I also set the intention to call my partner when I got home and practice some self-care.
It sounds incredibly simple, but I now had 3 things in my day to propel me forward - Moreover, those 3 things encapsulated multiple areas of my overall well-being. Food for the body, talking with people for the social, and self-care for the spiritual.
In supporting others
Nobody is excluded from having a hard time, it happens to the best of us. And by setting something to look forward to, we can support our peers in one of the best ways possible. Sometimes the light is flickering out, but just knowing that we get to see our friend the next day can keep us going. "I'll see you tomorrow" gives us something to look forward to. As discussed in the video I made on this topic - please don't let someone down who is in this position. You never know just how much that plan means to them.
Don't let it be pressured
The idea here is self-care, not stress. So if setting something to look forward to makes you feel restricted, time-pressured, or like it's all too much, change it or move it! That's the beauty of having something to look forward to, it's not a goal, it's something we are going to do because we want to.
When things are too much, it's not fun. It can be really hard. That's why I thought of making this blog post. Everybody tells us that we need a big list of goals to keep us going and to measure our success, but in doing that we forget the beauty of just having something to look forward to.
So, what are we going to do tomorrow?
Now that we know such a simple trick to uplift us and keep us motivated in having something to look forward to - what are we going to do? I incentivize you to get out your daily planner or calendar on your phone and schedule something now.
Some things I've used to help me look forward:
Go to the arcade and get on the race car machine.
Set up a surprise home-cooked meal for my partner.
At-home self-care (bath, shave, skincare, sleepy tea)
Coffee with a friend.
Lunch with a parent.
Starting to read a new book.
Going to a new spot to take some photos.
Booking some time off for a break.
In conclusion, having something to look forward to can not only help us be more motivated, but it can help us out of a low period, we can support others by giving them something to look forward to, and it generally can improve the quality of our lives and mental health.
I hope you try this simple technique, and I'll see you in the next one.
~J.
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