I feel perturbed.
As 2023 lays behind in my wake, after accomplishing more than ever before. I have overcome the worst parts of myself.
Become a new version.
Reborn I say.
Rising like the Phoenix light inside. An unstoppable force to be reckoned with.
I believe the strongest of us are the ones that chose to stay, after leaving this earth looked so, so good.
My mind it wanders. Between succession and noise.
My power came from haste, diving into the deep cold water of renewal.
It took 250 days and 250 nights to find the joy of being alive.
I used self-talk and meditation, became disciplined.
I went to the gym to strengthen my body and began to only eat which serves me.
Down went the bottle, no longer able to run with the flashing lights of escapism.
Along with the bottle went the harder things per say, the powders and the pills and the various things.
Both with the party and the people went the comradery too.
Left isolated, I felt motivated to move.
My emotions I had now to deal, no longer smoking to cure the hurt.
I had lots of support and now I feel renewed.
I'm back in my home town, finding home in myself too.
There's an ocean behind me, old ways I cannot return.
Now I deal with the gaps left, that I filled with the fumes.
My knowledge is expanding through books and the rest.
The dedication to change, the mountains have moved.
It's an awe to see, yet I still feel perturbed.
The void is within me, filled with self love and peace.
However I see it there, echoing right through.
When I'm not based in success, or caught in idea.
When the external is happening, I feel permanently perturbed.
Maybe it's the thought of changing my name.
To solidify my return.
Maybe it's a past life, echoing from the shift.
I think I've changed dimensions, yet I'm permanently perturbed.
~J
Comments